Written by Seth Edwin Thompson
Here we are again, at the conclusion of another NFL draft; but there's something different about this one. Instead of rookies heading off to team headquarters and taking pictures and answering questions about futures with their new teams. This year, these newly employed NFLers are faced with fears of possibly losing their rookie seasons, possibly losing out on multi million dollar contracts, and the thought of maybe if no CBA is reached, having to do this whole process all over again.
I know that in all reality there will be an NFL season. You want to argue over money now, can you imagine Jerryworld sitting empty in Dallas for a season. It would be so hard on Jerry Jones, that he might have to just go out in the triple D instead of heading out to Vegas all the time. But think of some of these possible scenarios if this draft indeed was done for nothing.
And because there are 32 teams in the NFL, we're gonna shoot for 32 scenarios.
1. Da'Quan Bowers may actually get picked where he should have been drafted if it wasn't for his knee injury.
2. 1st overall draft pick Cam Newton, meet new number 1 pick Andrew Luck.
3. And with the (insert number here) pick in the 2012 NFL draft, the (insert NFL team here) select Alabama running back (Tony Richardson or Mark Ingram).
4. Bill Belichick would more than likely go ahead and trade the 3rd round pick that they took Ryan Mallett with to lock up a first round pick for the 2021 draft. After all, Tommy Terrific says he has 10 more years in him.
5. Colt McCoy may be able to finally talk enough sense into Mike Holmgren to keep their 6th overall pick and take an actual target for him to throw to.
6. While Roger Goddell will probably still get boo'd, maybe people would take a little bit of pity on him knowing that he only made $10 this year.
7. Scratch 6, Goddell will still get boo'd.
8. Bud Light will up the ante to $20 million for picking the first round correctly. I was only 26 picks away from it this year. Who the hell is Aldon Smith anyways?
9. Things like character and morals will no longer need to be addressed or worried about. Who cares if your new franchise qb signed to a college for $180,000 or got some fresh ink for an autograph?
10. The Steelers may actually find it necessary to go get a cornerback in the first 2 rounds rather than watching some rookie challenge William Gay for the title of most burned DB in the league.
11. In a new twist to the draft, ESPN3D will cover all 7 rounds. That's right, Mel Kiper, Jr.'s hair coming straight at you.
12. The Lions would probably end up messing up the great draft they had this year.
13. Al Davis will posthomously trade up for and draft Terrell Pryor. Because he reminds him a lot of JaMarcus Russell, only instead of syrup, it's just some ink.
14. New Giants head coach Jim Tressel will not be allowed in the war room as all Giants front office personel will be angry when he withholds the information on who he wants to pick.
15. With a doubled draft pool, and actual talent at QB, the Cardinals might be able to help out that blaring weak spot on their roster. It's that guy who takes the snaps or something?
16. Yes Christian Ponder, being taken 12th overall does give you a pretty nice paycheck, unfortunately; being the 88th will be a hit.
17. The all Pitt backfield in Philadelphia will be upheld, and whenever the Eagles can trade off Kolb for a draft pick, they will pick Tino Sunsieri.
18. If you think Tino Sunsieri is good enough to get drafted in the NFL, you need to stop eating paint chips.
19. To try and make the draft an even bigger event, the NFL network will make Mike Mayock follow around Andrew Luck 24/7 and live stream it online.
20. Imagine this, NFL Network, ESPN, CBS, Fanhouse, and Yahoo Sports all don't cover the draft, but instead focus time and energy on actual sporting events that are going on, i.e. NBA playoffs, NHL playoffs, etc.
21. Donovan McNabb gets to read the Eagles, Redskins, Vikings, and Cardinals 5th round picks.
22. With so many players to be drafted, the undrafted free agent pool would be ridiculous. Could you imagine signing a one time 3rd round pick to a rookie minimum contract?
23. NFL Network and ESPN try out a new philosophy for draft coverage. Don't show who's going to be picked until they actually announce their name. Or if you want to keep spoiling it for everyone, show the wrong guy every once in a while to spice things up.
24. Trying to come up with 32 scenarios in something that probably won't even happen is getting impossible. I feel like Matt Millen at his fantasy draft.
25. What would sitting out an entire season of competive football do to the prospects from this year's draft? Hello UFL, hello CFL.
26. Make it real interesting, extend the draft to 14 rounds. 5 days long, and the last round each team has 30 seconds to make a pick. If any of those players ever make it to play a down in the NFL, $10,000 bonus for the GM.
27. The Panthers may actually do something smart with the first round pick and maybe help out their defense. I'm sure Von Miller would have taken away the sting of Julius Pepper's up and leaving last year.
28. Chad Ochocinco will actually tell us what prayer number 2 for the Bengals is. I'm still putting my money on it being something to do with Carson Palmer.
29. It would be interesting to see how many of the players drafted this year still have the same smoking hot girlfriends next year after they don't have anything to do for a year and can't afford their little princess her weekly shopping sprees.
30. The trendiness of taking a DL in the first round will become obsolete. Welcome back to being paid 3rd round contracts guys.
31. Pentultimate possible scenario: Cam Newton comes clean about everything, Auburn's offense really was just a backyard football blueprint.
32. Mel Kiper, Todd McShay, and Mike Mayock will have a competition. Pick all 7 rounds of the draft. Most correct picks wins a million dollars, and whoever picks the least amount has to get between Mark Schlereth and Mike Golic in a sauna.
Here's hoping the lockout gets resolved and we don't have to see Mel Kiper's hair finally fall down in the sauna.
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